


Your string of lights is still bright to me

by thatsformetoknow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Langst, M/M, Nightmares, Pre Relationship, Shiro POV, bed sharing, shangst, soft, they have a conversation at night and shiro realised that Lance is not as happy as he seems to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 11:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16533536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsformetoknow/pseuds/thatsformetoknow
Summary: "You okay?" Shiro asks, voice a little gruff from lack of use; he speculates it’s around three in the morning, but he can’t be sure.Lance laughs and it’s hollow and it’s bitter and Shiro has never felt sicker.Because everything that Lance was is shattered, gone in an instant. How has Shiro not seen the circles under his eyes before now? Or the hollow of his cheeks?





	Your string of lights is still bright to me

Lance is like a wildfire. Barely containable and always rushing out of control. He’s exhilarating and unpredictable and uplifting and completely amazing. 

Really, Shiro doesn’t know where their team would be without him always lifting them back up when things are bad. 

But right now? Lance is dull. That’s the only word that springs to mind and Shiro doesn’t understand it. 

Lance is always bubbly and bright and always, always has something to say. 

He lifts his gaze to him as Shiro comes in, offering him a quick of a lip in a smile in way of greeting. 

His fingers curl around his mug, sleeves pulled down part way over his hands and he brings it to his lips, taking a slow and deliberate sip. He doesn’t say anything. 

Shiro frowns and sits down next to him, unsure of where to even start. Lance is usually the one to start a conversation, makes Shiro feel at ease, never makes him feel pressured for conversation or something to say because Lance has it covered. 

"You okay?" He asks, voice a little gruff from lack of use; he speculates it’s around three in the morning, but he can’t be sure.

Lance laughs and it’s hollow and it’s bitter and Shiro has never felt sicker. 

Because everything that Lance was is shattered, gone in an instant. How has Shiro not seen the circles under his eyes before now? Or the hollow of his cheeks? The blemishes on his skin which mean that he hasn’t been keeping up with his self care routines? 

"I’m fine, Shiro." He says softly with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and Shiro has never hated himself more than in that moment. 

"What are you doing up?" Shiro asks, frowning and Lance gives a long drawn out hum. 

"Couldn’t sleep." He says with a shrug. "Shouldn’t I be asking the same to you"

Shiro shrugs in return. "Yeah, me too. Something like that."

"Nightmares again?" He asks softly and Shiro finds himself nodding. 

"Yeah. Nightmares again."

Lance nods solemnly. "Yeah. What are yours about?"

Shiro blows out a breath. "My time with the Galra, usually."

"Mm, understandable." He agrees, blowing softly at his drink and taking another sip. 

"Yours?"

Lance makes a soft deliberating noise. "Every time we’ve fucked things up." He says softly and Shiro doesn’t reprimand him for his language. "Every time someone innocent has died because of us. Me. Because of me."

Shiro doesn’t know what to say to that because sometimes his are about that too. 

"Sometimes they’re really good dreams. I don’t know what’s worse. Waking up and realising how much I’ve fucked things over or waking up and realising I’m still stuck out here, all alone and the only thing I can do is just keep desperately trying to fix things and just keep fucking them over instead."

Shiro can understand that. 

"Do you ever just feel like giving up?" Lance asks softly with a sigh. 

"The war?" He asks and Lance laughs softly, shaking his head. 

"On yourself." He says and then he checks himself. "I suppose not, you’ve survived too much for that, huh?"

"I can’t say I know what you mean, no." He says carefully. 

Lance smiles. "I’m talking nonsense."

Shiro isn’t so sure. 

"Do _you_ want to give up?" He asks tentatively and Lance looks at him for a long minute. 

"Yeah." He answers at last with a wide smile, breaking off into a laugh. "Yeah."

Shiro can’t say that he knows what that means, but he knows it isn’t good. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks gently and Lance tenses for a moment.

"Nah." He says softly, shaking his head, and that smile is still ever present, and Shiro could half mistake it for contentment if he wasn’t paying close enough attention. Doesn’t know why he hasn’t paid close enough attention until right now. 

"You should get some sleep." Shiro murmurs. "Training is early tomorrow."

Lance shrugs. "Yeah, sure." He says unconvincingly. Less that he’s trying to placate Shiro and more that he himself just doesn’t care anymore. "You too."

"Come to bed with me." He says and he doesn’t miss the fleeting frown on Lance’s face.

"Why?"

"I could use the company; nightmares." He offers and it takes Lance a moment, but he accepts with a slow nod. 

"Okay." He says softly, standing up and offering Shiro a hand which he gladly takes. 

He doesn’t drop it as they walk back to Shiro’s room, depositing Lance’s mug off in the kitchen on their way. 

He gets into bed and pulls the covers back, watching as Lance tentatively clambers in next to him and Shiro tugs him close against his chest.

Lance tenses, But Shiro holds him closer, burying his face in Lance’s hair. How did he miss this? He was supposed to be their leader, wasn’t he?

He doesn’t manage to stay awake much longer after Lance falls asleep, comforted at least a little by the fact that he’s getting some rest. 

Lance is gone when he wakes up and he doesn’t know what he expected, really. He dresses and makes his way to morning training and Lance is all bright smiles that reach his eyes again, loud raucous laughter as he throws his head back and cracks a joke, and Keith grumbles. 

He half wonders if he dreamt the previous night because Lance looks so _okay_ that it’s hard to imagine the shell of him from last night. 

And then his eyes meet Lance’s and the smile drops from his face. And then it’s back a few moments later, brighter and happier than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk where this came from ???? Yesterday’s was so soft ???? 
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated ???


End file.
